byron swimmer in yorkshire. brr.

Neil McKenzie, who has previously contributed his thoughts on Education prior to the Federal election, is in England with his wife Lorraine who has exchanged her teaching work at Clunes for a year. Neil is also a schoolteacher, but somehow is not as yet working. We will be publishing his thoughts as they come to hand.

Episode 2 18/1/08

The Weather

 Having lived in an English winter for  4 weeks now, it interesting to speculate on how weather affects people.

Whenever I am introduced to Yorkhsire folk their first nervous words usually concern the weather. “How are you surviving our weather?” “What do you think of the weather?” is the usual opening. They are deeply embarrassed by their poor performance in this area. They seem unconvinced by our reply that we didn’t come here for the weather or that if we wanted sunshine and heat we would have stayed in Byron.

There is no doubt that weather affects mood. Without the sun to kick start us in the morning we never actually fully wake up. People here live much of their lives in the dark or dull light and it is very difficult to be bright and cheerful in these conditions. The prevailing mood is pessimism, not optimism, and this is definitely related to light and to a lesser extent, cold and damp.

Of course it is possible to be depressed in paradise. Many Byronites can attest to this and weather is simply one variable. This would explain the plethora of “healing” establishments in Byron.

In Yorkshire all the other stressors are present plus the added trigger of the weather. I have been assured that this all changes in spring when people emerge from their hibernation, rub their eyes, blink  in disbelief at the sun and decide  that their problems are not so great after all. Bare sticks in the park become flowering trees and shrubs, and people put on a hat, buy new sunglasses and sit out in the sun on deckchairs in their thousands.

In the meantime we displaced Aussies endure and soldier on (very British).

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Episode 1, 5/1/08

This reporter has discovered English pubs and developed a liking for Guinness and the local ales which seem to be brewed out the back of each pub. Every corner in Shipley has a pub with great names like "The Fanny" and "The Badger". There is a particularly atmospheric one called "Don't Tell Titus" which has a bit of a story attached to it. The village of Saltaire was built by an 19th century industrialist called Titus Salt (great name) who saw it as his mission to create a model village for his workers ie Salt (him) Aire (the river Aire on which it is located - nothing to do with balmy ocean breezes. His vision included churches (he was a Congregationalist), parks, water supply and sanitation  but no pubs or taverns. He was keen to protect his workers from the evils of drink and instill in them a "high moral code", which I presume incuded a strong work ethic in his mills. He was successfull for over 100 years but with the demise of the factory in the late 20th century, so his moral code relaxed a little. The factory is now an arts and cultural centre and the abovementioned tavern is in the precinct.

English politics are as interesting and unpredictable as the Australian version. Apparently the Labo(u)r party is in charge with some guy called Brown running the place. Would you trust anyone with a name like "Brown"! The newspapers are either very high brow (The Guardian, The Times) or extremely low brow with page 3 girls (The Sun, The Mirror, The Star to name a few). Guess which ones I buy! Free-to-air  television has been dumbed down so that the 4 BBC channels look just like the commercial networks (ITV, channels 4 & 5), which are admittedly much better than our ours. The ABC and SBS leaves the BBC for dead. Fight for them! The radio seems much better.

What is more disturbing is the "education" system. They are really into assessment and clipboards. Everyone movement (nose-pick, bum scratch) a child makes is noted and analysed. Apparently actual teaching is optional. This nonsense begins in "nursery school" ie pre-school. Every school has an "OFSTD' (they love acronyms) every 4 years where a team of snoops dressed like auditors come in virtually unannounced and uninvited and pick the place to pieces. If you get a 1 or 2 you get a gold or silver star, if you get a 3 you go on probation,  but if you get a 4 they close the place and everyone is sacked or "moved on" ! It then gets a coat of paint, a new staff and re-opens, or amalgamates with or 1 or 2 school. Fortunately visiting teachers from the colonies are spared some of these indignities.

What this place has got is a great public transport system, although the locals are always complainng about it. Thank god (he exists over here) for the tube which makes London tick. Its cold, damp and melly but it works. The idea is to purchase an "oyster card" which entitles you to travel anywhere by public transport. You can purchase more credit online. You don't even have to swipe it! It knows who you are! (scarey). The buses are cool too. Also amazing is the politeness of the average driver. Apparently they have hoons as we do,  but they are not allowed on the streets during daylight hours (all 6 of them). That still leaves 18 hours to terrorize pedestrians but there aren't any as its too cold to go out of the front door. The taxis were all built in 1955 and painted black. The same drivers are still at the wheel.

That leaves the weather. Okay they could do better. Its miserable and nobody smiles until the sun emerges, in April I'm told. Until then you put head down and walk as fast as possible to the tube station. It is compulsory to wear black everywhere you go, so that you don't have to wash too often (yourself or the clothes). You wash clothes in summer only when there is some chance of drying them. Under no circumstances do you wear bright colours.